Vignette: Further Conversation

(The same pair.)

"Your tie's crooked."

He turned to the mirror and frowned at said tie. Pulling at it, he said, "You sure about this dress code?"

"Would I be wearing panty hose otherwise?"

Pfft. "Panty hose are nothing. Women enjoy wearing those, I've been told on good authority--you're just a weirdo. But ties, ties are mentioned in most documents on human rights."

She inserted herself between him and the mirror and reached to tighten the knot. "That's just misogyny among diplomats. It's well known."

And he loosened it again. "Nah. You're deluded. Haven't you seen those women in the Victoria's Secret commercials? They're always happy."

She shook her head. "Those aren't women. They're space aliens. And by the way, pouting and pushing out their chests is the way that that space aliens express pain."

"Is it legal to date space aliens?"

She stepped away. "They only go out with men wearing correctly tied ties."

He gingerly tightened the knot, millimeter by millimeter, steadily drawing the tie to a crooked angle again. Studying the result in the mirror, he said, "What about those T shirts with the tuxedo and ties printed on them?"

"They get one look at that, and they'll attack you. It's like gang colors. Don't mock ties. Ties are very important to space aliens."

"So you're a space alien?"

"No, I just work for them."

Image: By Bertow. Wikimedia Commons