Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Vignette: Crunchy

(A shift away from grumpy dialogue.)


"No, fish."

"I'm cooking it, and it's going to be chicken."

"You're still making the batter. The batter doesn't care if you dip chicken or fish in it."

"Of course it cares. Chicken is...well, it's chicken. The golden meat. The crispy meat. The meat of picnics and Sunday dinner. The thing in every pot in the mythical time of prosperity. The happy surprise in the cardboard bucket when Dad comes home. It's chicken."

"Teach a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime."

"Fine, but that doesn't mean he'll enjoy it."

"Haven't you ever heard of fish fries?"

"Yes; they're what happens when all the chickens have flown south for the winter."

"Chickens don't fly."

"That's by choice. As long as we don't insult them by bringing in a lot of stinky fish, they stay nearby because they love us. Like shmoos."

"Like whats?"

"Shmoos. They're shaped like a big chicken drumstick with legs. They want to be eaten."

"When did you open the wine?"

"I'm perfectly sober. Shmoos. From the Valley of the Shmoon. Go read Al Capp."

"So it's fiction."

"It's an allegory about something or other. Big political and sociological and economic implications."

"Which you're going to explain."

"Of course."

"Will you promise not to if I agree to chicken?"

"Of course."

Image: By Dougs Tech. Wikimedia Commons.


  1. Made me smile. I think I would choose chicken over fish. But sometimes, I am too "chickened out."

  2. Howdy, SunnyGurl! Thanks! Ooh, I always vote for chicken.

  3. Love this! Made me laugh right out loud. Happy New Year.

  4. You write great dialogues. I'd have the battered chicken, but it does present a problem for the classic meal of "Fish and Chips" with a little tarter sauce. Will chicken be offended by tarter sauce?

  5. Hey, Christine! Thank you! And Happy New Year to you, too. :)

  6. Hey, Melody! Hmmm. No, I think that chicken would be understanding about tartar sauce, even if it would be quietly puzzled by nostalgia for fish.