Saturday, February 12, 2011

Vignette: Lunchtime Doubly So


"Oh, thank goodness you're there. I was about to go to the police!"

"Hi, Mom."

"'Hi, Mom'? Is that all you have to say?"

"About what?"

"You weren't at the restaurant--I looked everywhere. I just got back home!"

"Just now?"

"Yes, of course just now. I almost went to the police station, but I decided first I'd go home and call. I thought you were dead."

"What happened to your cell?"

"I don't carry that thing, it's just for emergencies."

"It's about a ten minute drive, right?"

"What difference does it make how long a drive it is? I was so worried, I'm lucky I didn't have a wreck!"

"How long were you at the restaurant?"

"Oh, now you're interested? It must have been half an hour, almost. I was so upset the owner had to offer me a cup of tea and a place to sit down while I settled my nerves. They had to vacuum around me! It was very rude of you, inconveniencing all those people."

"Tell me, what time is it now?"

"It's five minutes to two and, mind, you, I was so worried I haven't even eaten yet. I could have fainted from low blood sugar! The bartender thought that you behaved very badly."

"Five minutes to two. You checked that on your watch? It's working?"

"What? Yes, of course, what are you going on about? And the hostess agreed with him."

"So that means you got there sometime after one."

"And? So?"

"We were supposed to meet there at noon. I waited forty-five minutes."

"Oh, for heaven's sake! Is everything all about you?"

Image: By Jon Sullivan. Wikimedia Commons. And Jon Sullivan's website is at


  1. Oh.My.

    Forever being reminded that if fences make good neighbors, then 3000 miles makes for happy families in my book.

  2. Hey, Diana! Heh. :) A large continent can have its advantages.

  3. I really had to control myself and not rush ahead to the end for Mom's parting shot. This one reminded me not of my mother, but of my grandmother - bless her heart.

  4. TERRIFIC! Totally felt like I was chatting with my own mother!

    Avery@RBU: The Group Blog

  5. Yo, Christine! Yep, I suspect that every family has one, or a few, women like this. :)

  6. I can only assume you model this character after a real woman you know...she shows up in so many of your vignettes and with such integrity every time that she simply canNOT be completely fabricated. I love to be annoyed by this character. In the spirit of brutal honesty, I have to tell you, though, that I saw this ending coming. It's the first time I've ever correctly anticipated the ending. And I suck at anticipating endings, so, y'know, do with that what you will. Still great reading though. I want to write vignettes like this when I grow up!

  7. heh heh heh.


    so much truth in this.

    Ladaisi Blog

  8. Yo, Happy Dog! Yeah, I was vaguely aware that I was telegraphing the ending (perhaps with a megaphone) when I was writing that bit, but I started to enjoy it all the same.

    And, well, yes, there is real life inspiration for that character. :) Though somewhat to my surprise, the character is gaining increasing distance from the original inspiration, and developing her own separate, maddening personality.

  9. This isn't my mother but it is several friends and (to a certain extent) El O.


    Pity me.


    great little story!


  10. Hey, Musette! Thank you. :) And, heh. My sympathies.