Vignette: Me and My Muse

"Are you writing?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm too full of thoughts."

"Shouldn't that be the best time to write?"

"No. They won't come out. It's like one of those big cans of fruit punch, if you don't punch an air hole. When it's full, you can't pour it out neatly, because there's no air flowing in, and it splurts and splashes."

"That's a really strange metaphor."

"Simile."

"Whatever. And they don't make those cans of fruit punch any more, so nobody's going to know what you mean."

"Fine. You asked."

"So why not punch an air hole?"

"If I knew how, I would."

"Maybe that's what those people who drill holes in their skulls are trying to do. Like Egon in Ghostbusters."

"Let's not go there."

"Is this conversation helping the air flow at all?"

"Only in the sense that it's keeping me typing."

"So what do you think I'm going to say next?"

"I think you're going to stand there and annoy me while I Google to make sure that I've got the definition of simile and metaphor right."

"Do you?"

"Yes. Look, I just figured out who you are. Aren't you supposed to be giving me something to write about here? And aren't you supposed to be female and wearing diaphanous Greek robes?"

"Not in the mood today."

"Well, I've written my two hundred words. So get out."

Image: Wikimedia Commons.