Thursday, January 13, 2011

Vignette: Morning

(On the "back on the horse" principle, also known as "post something!")

A muffin.

It was a blueberry muffin, at least. No bran, none of those odd little unidentified grain berries. Nothing to inspire the remark, "At least it's got fiber."

And it was hot, like a proper pulled-out-of-Grandma's-oven muffin. And the blueberries looked real.

But all the same, she didn't want a muffin. She wanted chicken. Or beef. Yes, beef. A nice ribeye steak, without all the fat trimmed off the way they insist on doing these days. And a baked potato, with one of those round scoops of butter.

Yes. That would do nicely. Would have done nicely. But here, instead, was a muffin, sitting sturdy and pudgy on the plate.

She picked it up and pulled off the steamy paper, and ripped its little muffiny head off, and put a pat of butter on the bottom of the top and another one on the top of the bottom. And watched them melt. And thought about sour cream and chives. And crispy fat. That was really a ribeye's reason for existence, that crispy fat. And beer. Don't forget the beer.

And you could follow a nice ribeye with pie. That would be a far better excuse for the blueberries' existence. Pie. With ice cream or whipped cream or heavy cream.



Image: By Kevin Payravi. Wikimedia Commons.


  1. Your posts never fail to make me smile. At least smile; sometimes even loud, wet-eyed laughter. This one made me smile. It didn't make me want steak for breakfast, but it made me smile.

  2. Lesson learned: Never read this blog famished. I really want a potato with everything on it. Bacon, cheese, butter, oh my!

  3. Thank you so much, Amy; I feared that this one would be one of those "Pretend you didn't read it! Run before she expects a comment!" pieces. :)

  4. Yo, Melody! Yes, I made myself hungry writing it; I wasn't even thinking about food before I started!

  5. The description of buttering the hot muffin halves made my mouth water!

  6. Hey, Christine! Yay! I like to make people hungry with food descriptions. :)

  7. I fell in love with you at "sturdy and pudgy." My love deepened with "ripped its muffiny head off." (God, I am furious with myself for not coming up with that line first.) And the bottom of the top and the top of the bottom line was like honeymoon sex. Perfect.

  8. Yay! Thank you, Happy Dog. I'm not sure if you found exactly my favorite bits in the post, or you turned them into my favorite bits, but thank you either way. :)